awesome and inspiring

our other half

what do you look for when searching for your other half?

A well educated better half?

the half that will comply to your needs and wants?

the half that is similar to you?

the above three combined will probably give you someone that is easy to manage.. but doesn't necessary mean that the person can give you happiness.

The better half possibly provides stability when it comes to income, provides a 'safer' future. But with incidents like the recent Japan earthquake happening or a simple mistake like a car accident, who really knows what will happen tomorrow?

The half that complies might not have a backbone of their own. might not be able to help correct your mistakes and help you improve.

The half that is similar to you brings about comfort level; the easy planning of day to day activities. the con.. maybe a lack of spice in the relationship.

So what is really important?

What is it that we really want in a relationship?

I realize that our wants change as we go through different phases in our lives, or even, because of experience from past relationships.

And here's my take from past relationships:

Someone who listens to you.

Someone that you would like to listen to.

Someone who you respect

Someone who respects you back

Someone that is willing to experience change with you.

Someone that is willing to think "there is more to this world than what i know, let's discover it together"

Someone who believes in change for the better

Someone who understand why we worry.

Someone who also worries for you.

Someone who is there to support you when you need it most.

Someone that you want to be there to return the support when he or she needs it most.

Someone who makes you laugh, whenever, whenever

Someone who you can have fun with!

and most importantly, someone who wants to communicate to you and vice versa, someone you want to communicate all day with.

I can't say that I do know what i want. but that's what i'm looking for right now.

I do question if the above will enable me to be prepared for the uncontrollable factors every city bred 'kid' might face one day in their life: The financial strains, the unexpected health problems, the disapproval from family and friends.

you know my fears. and i long for you to talk to me about it instead of just waiting for me to say something, to vent my frustration or to break down. i long for you to come to me and just talk to me, to ask me how i'm doing... cuz i'm simply not strong enough. i know you think that i'm overthinking, or getting influenced by others.. but just humor me? I come as a package, and the constant insecurity, doubt comes with it.

big polar saying hi to small polar

so sweet right? but 4 yr old polar bear Knut just passed away. rest in peace!

enuff slacking.

so much backlog. time to start being serious again. :)

a new beginning?

possibly. seems like it. sounds like the right direction.

some days i feel as if i am able to move forward. and i guess i'm happy when that happens.

but there are some days where i feel that it's so easy to fall back to where i was again...

the relationship

the friendship

the lack of care

and the fact it. it's always easier to fall back then move forward.

crossroads once more.

My May Flower

it used to bloom every May in time for my birthday. But since it moved to the new house.. it's been really rare and random.

an update of some sorts

life is good. i can’t possibly ask for more right?

i live in a happy home. i have loving retired & self sufficient parents who finally can relax and do the things they truly enjoy.

i have a job that so far has treated me really well.. perhaps bit too well. haha. they have faith in me and give me opportunities. people are nice in general (no crazy hate politics as per previous job). I’m not stressed (as of yet but soon to change… FINALLY!).  Finally received my sales territory today so it’s soon gonna be lots of awkwardness and bad learning experiences for me. Gee. I sound so optimistic. well.. i hope it will turn out good. i really have to end my slacking days.

I meet my fav girls every week now (not that they know that they’re my fav girls), cuz of the upcoming performance. it is something i look forward to: hanging out with them and preparing for a performance. so yay!

I drive all the time now. Can’t remember the last time I took public transport. For the first time, i’m topping up my own cashcard and have to buy carpark coupons. Yikes. I am lucky to have a cute blue beetle to drive everywhere.

Parents give me the freedom that i need, finally. I can’t go partying all night but it’s now at a more reasonable level. Coming stayover at a chalet for consecutive 2 nights is going to be a first for me. As long as I’m reasonable, i don’t get much nagging. Took me 24 years to get this.

I have friends that care for me.

I have a boyfriend who tolerates a lot of my ugly nonsense.

what more can i ask for right?

 

 

yet i still feel empty sometimes. empty.

random, again

 

just fooling around with picasa again.

pic: classroom in st. gallen with two profs.
reminds me of some sci-fi movie where the research subject wakes up on a research table and sees blurred images of doctors looking at some info. lol. k. i'm being lame.

monday blues...

there is always these things i wanna do and i keep thinking of doing them at the back of my head. i want to exercise. i should focus on getting abs, slimmer bod. i should read up more so that i can learn faster at my job. i should memorise the information so that i won’t have to keep asking around. i should improve my chinese and read the many books i have on my bookshelf. i should fix my rc car. i should add the spoiler to my car soon. i should print my holiday pics and put them in the photo album. i will do it tonight. i will do it this weekend.

but the fact is. i don’t do it. i end up watching tv. i end up surfing the internet. i end up chatting on the phone. that really sucks.

another attempt to work on my to do list. hope i’ll be able to achieve some of it this time.

My Tassie Trip

Date: 4-11 February 2009
(In Melbourne 11-13 February 2009)

FINALLY! my tassie pics are up! The pretty and fancy scenic pictures are found on the other blog - http://aperturereverb.blogspot.com. Below are the memorable but less glam pics with all the awesome food ;)

Part I Highlights:
- Apple & Heritage Museum - Huon Valley
- Kate's Berry Farm
- Freycinet - best 2 night stay and lobster



Part II Highlights:
- Picnic with the seagulls
- Vineyard and berry farms
- Cradle mountain



Till now, i would say that the most memorable meal i had in prevous Melbourne was the Lavender scones from the farm. Think this trip, it would be the meal at Christmas Hills Rasberry Farm. I think it was the simply awesome. Kate's berry farm might be more popular as they are better established on the web, but the Raspberry Cafe (see below) had a much better food menu.
http://www.raspberryfarmcafe.com/menus/dessert%20pg1%202008.html

brown eyes

First it was the blue hair extensions. Now I have brown eyes! heh.

I guess I suddenly feel that I’m not gonna stay young for long or something and now keen to do such weird stuff here and there. Unfortunately, i allowed the two really young promo girls choose the colour for me and voila. I have really fake brown eyes. geez. what was I thinking? I am getting used to it… but can’t say the same for my mum who went “Eeeeee!! so scary!” zm also looks mildly disturbed by them.

*sigh*

Well, now i have to wear the contact lens for 2 months. purchase made, can’t waste it right? :)

 

On a side note. my eyes now remind me of the cover image of the book “Tiger Eyes” by Judy Blume that i have at home since young. Unfortunately, i can’t seem to find a larger image of this cover online.

This is a book that i hold quite close to my heart. For those who always liked to make fun about my blog addy, this is where it came from.  If you have read the book before, I suppose you will sort of understand my feelings and thoughts when i started this personal blog.

[note: my life is obviously nowhere as tragic but just feel for the protagonist quite a bit]

photo taken in Tasmania. was playing around with the contrast settings on the com.  love the harshness of it.

the real thing

my ‘project’ for the last week…Finally my RC car is done! All I need to do now is to add the  windows, lights, side mirrors etc etc to make it look like a real car! *beams*

Have yet to test the car out.. but so far.. it is moving quite straight but not entirely straight :(  Hopefully I will have the time to play with it tomorrow though I have to write another report this weekend.

Ack! my dad just asked me why i choose such an indian colour. sad.

Those who know me well will probably wonder why i chose pink!!?? so not me right? what to do.. ah lian blood beginning to show. lol!

I’m so happy. Thanks bf for helping me today.. doubt I would be able to finish it if he didn’t help.

 
work area!

more photos can be found on http://aperturereverb.blogspot.com/

my display car – Nissan GTR Skyline

 
clean

 
added the necessities
- pending more modifications

my display car in room :)

CHIJ

always an IJ girl at heart.
and I’m sure I speak for a lot of IJ girls ;)

note: pic was taken not too long ago. I still have a decent p.e. shirt in my cupboard!

nice song. sad song. sad video.




Don’t forget me
Don’t regret me
Don’t suspend me
Don’t neglect me

The memory of this still reminds me of you
The memory of this still reminds
The memory of this still reminds me of you
And that is where you’ll find me

on a lighter note. youtube has a grey's anatomy and buffy version of the song. my personal fav is the buffy & angel version,i think it suits the song.. the way it was put together. i'm sure all buffy fans will feel emo about it (yesh, i watched every season of buffy).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3uJzzQsp8o

Accusations always hurt.

but sometimes it comes with learning points and sets one back on track.

Rock Band

A gathering organised purely on facebook. and we played for 3 and half hours straight without realising! To good old days and many more interesting ones to come. Hope our plans for a cruise trip together can materialize! :)

Sunset in Tasmania

Took this photo in Tassie. the best sunset i’ve ever seen. wild. happy. i didn’t need anybody else. i was happy to be there alone. taking in everything. and that all that was there was mine, and mine alone. orange glow everywhere, waves pounding against the rocks, wind threatening to blow me down and yet a tinge of calm some distance away. i loved everything and shouted in joy as i felt my heart race together with the surroundings.

i want to be back there again.

i used to open up so much more on this blog. my thoughts, my feelings, my loves.

maybe i should try doing so again.

maybe it’s just not possible anymore.

cuz as years pass, we don’t think so innocently and life becomes more complicated.

my heart aches. for many reasons.

i don’t want to sleep. i want to be outside. feel the cold night air. i want more.

but alas. there is work tomorrow.