it was drizzling throughout the ceremony, so it was kinda rushed. heh. The paper that had to be submitted back to the registry was peppered with raindrops. :)

loved the flowers lots!

 

fooling around with the camera...




 

ROM

please don't rain.
i really don't want to have the ROM in the house. *pout* Will spoil the whole effect.
I'm tired. want to sleep.. but have to wait for the wedding guy to come. I'm sure i can have a little nap right? hee
Phone keeps ringing! irritating.

crap mummy just woke up. so much for my little nap.

Choices

Choices.

why does our life involve making so many choices?

I'm tired. I feel as if I've made so many important choices and decisions in the last few months. sometimes it's the right choice. sometimes it's the wrong one. and most draining of them all - choices that you will never know whether it's right or wrong. And once you made a decision, it doesn't meant that you are done with it, you can leave it as it is. We have to bear the consequences of it.

I was so glad that i finally got myself an internship. it is so demoralising that it's so difficult for me to get one, so even though i didn't get this though my own capabilities, i was relieved. happy. excited. enticipation.

but now
i dread it.

i'm forced to make another choice. the internship requires too much commitment. i have to decide where to put my time. my friends. my family. my boyfriend. myself. dance. I want all, but it's impossible to. It's not fair. Somehow it feels as if i made the wrong decision to take up the internship in the first place.

Stop Wasting Time

My mum put an article titled "Stop Wasting Time" on my desk a couple of weeks ago. Well, she's obviously trying to put across a point to me, but i shall prentend to be a little dense and not get it :P
Anyway, I just thought I'll share the contents of the article, since it's project peak time and the exams are just looming round the corner.

Efficient vs Effective
which should we work on first?
Efficiency menas doing things right
Effectiveness means doing the right things
The best answer is to improve your effectiveness first as it is much better to aim your sights at the results than to worry about the process. Too often, people get bogged down in the menas and lose sight of the end.

Eliminating Time Wasters
some problem areas common to most people:

• scheduling less impt work before more impt work
• starting a job b4 thinking it through
• leaving jobs b4 they are complicated
• doing things that can be delegated to another person
• doing things that actually are not a part of your real job
• failing to build barriers against interruptions
• socialising at great length between tasts
• handling too wide a variety of duties
  

haha. i so do many of these...

Setting Priorities
1) Parkinson's Law: work tends to expand to fill the time allotted for its completion. Therefore, setting priorities is very important. If you do not know what your priorities are, your other work will expand to fill in the extra time -- hence taking you longer to accomplish less.

2) Pareto's Principle: 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts


Using a 'to do' list
According to them...

• the list gotta define a specific amount of time (if possible) for each activity to prevent the work from 'expanding'.
  
• activities should also be listed in order of priority
  
• it is helpful to spell out the result as well as the process. Stating when, where and what you are going to do increases your chances of doing it successfully.
• As the days goes by, check off completed activites and make any notes that seem relevant. In the evening, make out a new list for the next day and include any activites you could not complete the day before. Always save your lists for future reference and evaluation.
  

Vietnam pics

Boring BP class, so here i am updating my blog again. I went to Vietnam in early September. A very slow and free & easy kind of trip, but i enjoyed it and spent time taking lots of pics. So here's some to share :)

my bestest and fav pics of vietnam

pic 1 - nice hot guy just happened to turn his head when i took the pic! *grins*
pic 2 - night shot of semi-roundabout of ho chi minh, beside the river. was taken from the roof of the hotel
pic 3 - young nuns, wearing the traditional vietnamese hat, walking through the grounds of the citadel, Hue

i like this pic. I was pretty much following behind my parents most of the time in the streets of Ho Chi Minh, cuz i was busy snapping pics here and there. And this is a simple shot of my mum and dad, being a nice sweet couple even at this age. I hope my married life would be like that too in future. :)

 

A city full of crafts

My mum and I had a wonderful time shopping and looking at crafts in Ho Chi Minh. Unlike most places, each shop offered something different - embroidery, cards, imitations of famous paintings, Vienamnese paintings, baskets, lacquer ware etc. Okay, maybe not EACH shop, there is no doubt that are repetitions here and there, plus some imitations, but there was enough variety to satisfy us :)
And for those who just like shopping for clothes, there are a couple of places where you can get them. I only managed to get 2 tops and a skirt, but my bro buys loads back. (not that i'm complaining, since i get nice stuff from him. heh.)

p.s. ALINA ROX! :)
(disclaimer: the owner of the blog did not write that statement)

 

The second last emperor of the Nguyen Dynasty. He was a very small sized guy who was very interested in French culture. So his tomb has a mixture of culture. Famous for being the 'puppet' emperor in history texts, what is not really known is that he is also homosexual and vain. In fact, he went to France and requested for replicas of himself to be made. :)
But i think that it is because of these factors, his tomb is the most impressive and has the most architectural value in Hue.



A common sight in all the tomb compounds.


The Citadel

Hue, the old capital of Vietnam

 

Vietnam sights - Ho Chi Minh, people

 

Vietnam sights

 

Vietnam sights - Post Office, Ho Chi Minh

 

I LUURRRVVEEee Vietnam food!

Weddings

It's fun to do wedding stuff. Like choosing where to get your wedding gowns, deciding the theme of it, looking at wedding magazines, going to wedding shops. White is a beautiful colour, and it makes shopping pleasant.

No worries, I'm not planning to get married yet :)

My sister is ROMing early next month, and I sort of been helping out with minor arrangements. It will be in our house, in the garden. We got some guy to help do the decor. He has shown some promising stuff in his photos, but at the same time, I don't trust him in certain factors. Like he doesn't give the wedding image. I just hope he does a good job. haha. Anyway, the theme for the day is lilac. It's gonna be all lilac flowers. yippee! Not that i like lilac, but i still think it's better than pink! *grins* I went to a some internet bride forum the other day, and it's facinating! It's where all the kan cheong brides-to-be gather to seek advice and contacts from each other. Some talk about their nerves, some fret about the big dinner they are planning, plenty are looking for shops with good ROM dresses. I found a pretty wedding ring pillow at the site and actually met the lady in tanjong pagar mrt to buy it from her! haha. I got ideas on how to write a proper wedding invitation from there too.

It's been fun. Yet i cannot imagine myself having to plan for my wedding for one whole year. Most people have their weddings about a year after their solemnisation. I think that's weird. It's like postponing the celebration of a big event. I think it throws away the kick or the high you get from being a MRS. I also don't like the fact that there are some stigmas or 'proper procedures' to weddings. Like my sister had to get a nice glam dress just for her ROM. I want mine to be nice, casual, maybe cutesy. haha. It has to be comfortable, not just another glam dress to don on. The stoopid wedding guy doesn't approve of such a notion though. But this is the practical Singapore way, and I won't be surprised that I might end up following them in future.

Anyway, below is the invitation I made for my sis for her ROM. She insisted on suzy zoo. :P

my long overdue pics of cambodia

steep worn out steps.
see those tiny pple in the shelter? They were taking wedding pics, but it started pouring heavily. I was initally really upset with the rain as i barely even started touring the area. But luckily it was multiple short downpours, so i managed to get different types of photos :)

isn't this gorgeous? guess there is always certain beauty with rain. And you don't often come by a picture of Angkor Wat in the rain ;)

my all time favourite. I was trying pretty hard not to be obvious about taking a picture of a naked kid bathing. But seriously, I just couldn't resist it.

I guess that what i love so much about Cambodia, especially Seam Reap. It just seems so nice and slow and carefree. And in this pic, there seems to be little segregation between the locals and the tourist areas. The beauty of Angkor Wat would definitely not be the same without all that greenary surrounding it. It is rare to find a city still kept in its natural conditions, i.e. no city background etc. I'm just glad that I managed to be there at that time to see Seam Reap in this light as from what i've heard, such calm and serenity is somewhat lost with crowds of tourists during the peak season. I really hope to go back soon as I barely covered the area.

First day of school

School has finally started for us SMU students, so no more doing nothin but slacking at home or dancing.

I realised that after having a 4 month long holiday, going to school on the first day of the term somehow feels like the first day of my freshmen year. Sporting a slight cough and sniffing the whole day, it really reminded me of my first day 2 years ago. It puts you in a non-conversational mood, which isn't really good for a first day. Walking towards school this morning, I barely recognise the people around me. Unlike last year, where you walk a few steps and you end up meeting someone you know . The whole of today, I easily did not recognise more than half of the students I saw, making me feel even more out of place. I suppose that's inevitable; The campus has grown bigger, the junior cohort has grown in numbers, many of the seniors that you are familiar have graduated and many from my own batch are on exchange overseas.
This is when you realise that you are an oldie, not some lost freshmen. A third year. The point of time you start thinking of ways to graduate with decent grades instead of finding ways to get more involved in school. You would no longer gonna be excused for the little mistakes you make, and more is expected out of you. Crap. Time to grow up.

i love the rain. i love the rain.. i love the rain!!!
I LUURRRRVVVEEE the rain!
Room door is wide open, the smell of rain and the wind just blowing right into my room..
making my little heart dance with joy.
pitter patter.. i can't ask for more :)

Changes

Ack. 2 more weeks to school.
What happened to the holidays??!!!!
Just disappeared into thin air. It's so easy for the days to just go by like that. And it ain't as if i'm doing something really fruitful. Rummage was at least an experience. Right now, I'm doing convocation. and it's bloody hell wasting my time! grrrr... patience. I expected this but..well. nvm.

Changes. Like everytime before a new year, or in this case, a new school term, I like to make changes around me. Call it a gemini charateristic or something, but yes, sometimes i do get bored when I'm stuck with the same thing after a while. But I guess it's the same with most people, change helps to make things more interesting, at least it wouldn't feel as if we're mundane and boring creatures :) Yet at the same time, I'm quite a traditional person. Sometimes I prefer things simple and in the old ways. I do prefer VCRs to DVDs at times, paper and pencil over the lappy most times, brochures over the internet etc, and oh! chess must be played with chess pieces (unless the computer version has real fight scenes when you eat other pieces up) .

Okay. as usual, I'm digressing. (now you know why it takes a zillion years for me to do an assignment, and can't write a GP essay that doesn't go out of point). Sooo... anyway. I'm into this whole CHANGE thingy, cuz i'm happy that my room is mildly revamped! What a wonder a small little rearrangement can do. My radio is now on my table, i got a corner for my watches in my side shelf and my thousand and one knick knacks are on the shelf now. i.e. my table is A LOT neater, my laptaop adaptor no longer has to be strapped across my bed when i use it, and i no longer have decomposing roses on display. And obviously the happiest person from this is my mum. She's been bugging me like forever. heh. Now i just have to find the mood, materials and a creative mood to kick in so that i can neaten up my corkboard and make it more useful.

2nd change. My mum, sis and I went to make new glasses! Daddy wanted to too.. but the funky glasses doesn't suit him. He looks best in his frameless ones now. Anyway, Greeeeennnn is the colour for moi! No longer the silly purple thingy that gives me a headache because my lenses is of a degree that is too high for me.

3rd change. Still pending. my hair. Somebody please give me advice. (okay, i know this sounds alittle bimbotic but i can't decide) Should i cut it short short? shoulder length? or leave it cuz the curls are still daaaaammmmnnnn nice and i will never ever have the patience to keep it so long again. Pls comment! heh. shameless me.

Thanks

Time alone at home. A tinge of gloom in the sky. Reading some old blog entries. You finally being at your first Orientation camp in uni. And it being the 24th. Another 24th is here. How fast time passes, yet it really doesn't seem that long ago. Sometimes I dunno what I'm doing, either that, I'm just running away from it. It's been great seeing you the last few times, despite it being awkward at times, but I appreciate it. I appreciate you not leaving me, I appreciate you not getting mad at me.. and I appreciate you being supportive of my decision even though it is not what you want. Thanks for everything baby. I love the change I've seen in you in the past two years plus, and hope you don't throw everything away like you did from your past relationship. I love the values that you hold, so please always keep it, it's rare to find someone that holds them dearly.

my babbling

It's been a while since I blogged. heh. sorry to those who actually bother to read my slow moving blog :)

Mentally, I've been wanting to do updates for like reeeeaaallly long, about Dance Camp ( which essentially was about lots of girls and some guys staying over in school for two nights, and with little sleep, doing nothing but dance and dance and dance. But as tired out as I was then, I sort of enjoyed it, like a massive stayover, and the feeling of being involved in something. I'm a sucker for late nights without curfew and just feeling involved. And I really like the fact that at the end of the day, both emix and caderas are pretty much very confortable with each other, to the extent that the caderas boys have influenced the emix guys to their.. erm.. ways.), and about my trip to Cambodia (which i'll try to post up some of my fav pics soooon. haha)

BUT... as seen, I haven't found the time to blog... or the motivation. My daily routine for the past couple of weeks is this. Morning - either waking up late at 11am and get scolded for it by mummy who just semi-retired, or drag myself out of the bed by 9am becuz that's the time my mummy set for me to wake up after she got pissed that I was waking up late. This is followed by my mum's "ai xing zao can" i.e. breakfast made by my mum, which is usually pretty appetizing unless she decides to make me eat oats. The rest of the day would be left to either all, or some of the following: 1) Rummage ticketing matters - either due to mine or other people's administrative errors or just dancers with a lot of requests. 2) Entertaining my mum (who i will repeat again, has finally semi retired and is home for the whole month of July). Okay.. i shan't be mean..I do enjoy my times with her, espeicially since I've been really busy with my own stuff recently... Just that, I no longer get the change to nua at home.. watch tv, watch dvd, sleep etc. heh. 3) Chauffeuring my mum to places 4) Having Mandarin lessons taught by my mum. Yesh. i'm having Chinese lessons again! But it's usually only for half hour, so it's not torture, but enlightening instead. It's pretty much a story-telling session about how some Mandarin idioms came about, which usually leads to China History and also to famous Chinese myths and stories. Sooo. it's really not too bad :). And the rest of the late afternoon and night would be to school either to do Ticketing stuff or dance dance dance! By the end of the day, I'm just tired and don't feel like touching the computer and just read my book or talk on the phone.

Yup. Sooo the point of that whole chunky paragraph (which i really don't expect people to read) just to say 1) I have no blogging time/mood and 2) Sorry if I haven't been meeting people that I promised that i would meet in July. I'll make up for it!!! heh.

I'm beat. Dance from 10am to 7.30pm is quite draining, even though most of the time I'm just sitting. hahah. Night!

Ohhhh. sorry for babbling. I'm in one of those moods. babbling moods. heh.

a little heartache

Rationally, i know what needs to be done, and why. I know that things can turn out well at the end of it, after whatever necessary hoo ha. I am no longer the little naive girl who believes in the ideal state and that things can go the way i want it to be.

Yet. I don't listen to my rational thinking. I still behave like the little naive girl.

For now. let the confusion come. i rather that, then to let you go now.

Sorry for being selfish. Please don't hate me.

End of my days as a salesgirl

Okay. i'm hyper. I am FINALLY in a blogging mood.

Finally no more standing around for hours, getting pissed about doing something I think do not make sense to do, saving the poor legomen from being terrorised by imps and getting weird rashes from dirt. YIPPEEEEE~!!! Can really feel the difference, and i even saw it in Nic today. Just feel different. Finally the time to spend on myself. *grins* I do admit that I feel a little sad about not being there anymore, being gum with the sales pple etc etc. But... just a little bit. :)

My last day as LEGO salesgirl was pretty relaxing actually. I was trying hard to make some sales in the last few hours cause I sort of felt bad about not really doing my job in the past week or so.. wasn't as great a sales girl as in the beginning. I was getting a bit peeved when I couldn't get them to buy the stuff I wanted them to buy i.e. my recommendations, but oh well, at least i was being a nice and helpful salesgirl :) We spent the rest of the night (till 3 am) breaking down the football stadium that people spent the last 3 weeks admiring. Broke it down to pieces. We had to sort them out to the type of bricks - duplo, system, system flats, technique, connectors and special. At the same time, the stage people were tearing down the Arts festival stage, so it was quite a pretty crowded night. As Nic says: they are tearing down the real thing, and we, the toy version.

Soooo... my hyper mood is because it's my second off day!!!! I was in my 'emailing' mood, and manage to clear my inbox, settle the damn rummage tickets, send emails that i was supposed to do donkey years ago. The aim of my day today was to get a tan. BUT it rained the whole morning, and drizzled through the afternoon. It was a nice CHILLY day. So my plans were screwed, but I guess I got to appreciate the cold breeze and the nua feeling. Met wt, bran, and kelvin for lunch and do some errands. It did feel a little weird since he hasn't told them, but i guess that what's i need. Don't want to feel so out of the picture yet. But it does have it's complications. Sitting and standing next to him, yet knowing you are not supposed to hold his hand, or even be toooo close to him. But it is instinct to, and it is added effort to not hold his hand, or put his hand around his waist, or even into his butt pocket. Sigh. I know i'm complicating things, but i am not ready to draw the lines clearly yet either.

Sorry if i'm making things difficult for you. Do tell me.

I'm still hyper. grr. what should i do. what should i do.

Walking in the Rain

i love the rain.

and i will never stop loving it

it's weird. it starting with me not having the choice but to walk through it to reach my destination. wanted to just run through it.. but i realised that i was enjoying it. it was a light rain, not the kind that irritates you when it hits you. and i couldn't help but feel released. i couldn't help but want to cherish and stay in that moment. maybe because i'm afraid that i can't be Rain anymore. maybe because i never want to stop treasuring what has passed through in the past 2 years. or maybe it's simply because the rain makes me happy.

the stand is made. and i sort of know what needs to be done.
yet.. i'm still at a loss. i'm not sure where the line is to be drawn.

an update

I'm supposed to be updating this blog, by the orders on my president :)

Well.. i've been wanting to do on about my LEGO internship, where i'm a poor little sales girl, being bullied by parents and the Robinson managers! grrr... and I think we are all slowly becoming an expert in repairing LEGO figures... thanx to irritating little brats who do not understand the meaning of "do not touch" and parents who do not know how to discipline their children. The worst case is seeing the adults themselves touching the exhibits itself, some even itchy handed enough to touch the "do not touch"sign. dots.
LEGO damage report:
- missing fingers. lots of exhibits repeatedly showing their third finger
- missing parts in general e.g. figures, harry potter owls blah blah
- fallen railings, precariously placed in position for now
- fallen pipe from smoker's hand, precariously placed in position for now
- 2 shattered heads, repaired by LEGO fan guy
- one fallen camera stand, repaired by me
- broken soccer ball, repaired by sebast
- dismantled helicoptor, repaired by me
and god knows how much more.

Will show pics one day. i'm too lazy to upload, as usual :D


I went to Brix yesterday, it was really great. Fantastic music, nice at tas plas, lots of entertainment (from the tai tai's and their paid dancers and this really long legged crazy horse dancer), great company. I didn't really notice lots of hookers, cuz none of them are pretty.. hahaha. and their taps have warm water!!!
I wanna go again! but must ask Claudine... *Grins* so that we can have nice gossip sessions about the tai tais. haha.
I had my first try with Bachata and Merengue, Geoffrey was teaching me.. pretty interesting. Surprisingly, I didn't feel very uncomfortable.. effects of alcohol? :) But it was uncomfortable having some tai tai placing her hands on my hips and trying to guide them and teach me how to shake them for merengue...

All in all, it was a good night. I got some answers that i needed also last night.
HOpe things will turn out well.

12.20am

all i got was a msn msg.

why haven't i gotten your call?

My last day as a non-adult...

was bad.

Okay. There were nice moments. Thanks to the people around me.

SOOOOooo. Despite having crappy cramps that refused to disappear even after consuming panadol, lacking sleep, being feverish, painfully numb feet and a horrendously slow day at work, there were sweet moments.

The LEGO cum SMU interns - Nic aka Hamtaro, Sebast aka Tweety Bird, Zhihui (currently still nicknameless) - made arrangements to get me a birthday cake from Awfully Chocolate for me during work! This was in collaboration with our boss and the Robinson staff… so sweet right? I mean… they didn’t have to. So thanks lots guys *hugs* Though I horrendously looked like crap the whole day. Thanks for being so nice and covering up for me when I couldn’t tahan already.

they insist that i look like a sheep/lamb

It was fun having the cake, especially since we were kinda worried about being seen by the Robinson managers, and had an incomplete b’day song cause a customer came to make payment *chuckle*. But it was still nice. Heh.

Of course my dinner with family was nice also. Went to this at this place opposite the national library. The waiter that served us suck, but everybody else was really nice. Food was fantastic…. Unfortunately couldn’t enjoy it to the fullest as I was really toooo tired and stomach didn’t feel too good. That’s pretty much the last day of my non adult hood. Heh. Now left with 35 mins.

Just to share some of my birthday party pics. celebrated on the 20th.

Really sad that I couldn’t spend time with everybody, but the setting was splendid. Thanks to bf, family, and some friends. J It was really beautiful. Glad I still have this house at this point of time. I think everybody enjoyed the food. Heh.

dancing in the driveway

Teaching salsa.
Dark with nice warm lights,
amongst tall pine trees.
little kisses here and there.
laughter.
hugs.
been some time since we had pure laughter.
a beautiful moment.
but mixed feelings still linger in my heart.

I want to dance

It's a Sunday night and i'm stuck at home alone! This sucks. and i hate being alone

My friends are at Brix salsa-ing to live music!!! LIVE music. *urgh* I want to be there... and the music sounds soooo good. I hate this feeling of being stuck at home when my heart wants to be somewhere. I remember those times in secondary school, when the weather is so fine, and every inch of my body just want to be out there hitting the ball, playing tennis. And yet because my mum didn't allow, I would be stuck at home sulking. I will feel so sad, as if missing out in a wonderful experience. People might wonder why get upset over something that you will know you will have another chance to go.. to dance or to play tennis. Yet there is a difference. To have the mood, to have the right conditions, makes each session a difference. You don't get a sunny day with a nice breeze, with the people you love there all the time. You don't play a good game or dance well everyday. urgh.

Shall just watch grey's anatomy and cry my heart out. bleah

And I am aching like crraaaaazy again. this time my whole upper body. plus two really black bruises on my knees. Thanks to cartwheels and tornados. but it's fun :)

Aching Body

2 dance lessons and my body is hurting. I can't remember the last time I was aching so badly becuase of DANCE. dots. All that reverse cartwheels gonna make me form muscles on my right arm. ouch.

Yesterday was busy busy. Moving from place to place... but all dance stuff. Started my day with amanda giving me a wake up call cause she was dragging me up for breakfast at cafe cartel at 8.30am! But i enjoyed myself babe. *hugs* Though my stomach felt odd after that. heh. We talked quite a bit ya? Kinda understand you better. :)

Den meeting at Jubilee, training, exco meeting, advance class, sneaking into faculty area in biz block to shower. Voila! it was 7 pm already

Met cute little big-eyed Iris at Coffee Club (the one outside California Fitness) and we talked and talked for 3 hours!!! About our relationships, and picking up hip hop. But this girl got an unfair advantage, she's been learning quite a bit already and really wanna excel in it. On my side, I barely even know what is it, not even sure whether I can pick it up! Sigh.. just hope it works out. We need a place to leaarrrrrnnn. hope we find one and a private instructor *chuckle*

The day ended off weirdly though. Shan't elaborate. Just trying to figure out what's wrong with me now. I want to get out of the house now, because I want to spend time alone? But I don't know what to do/ where to go. This sux.

feeling like a lost little puppy

Before Sunset

I just watched finished the movie Before Sunset... it's a really simple show but I think it's damn nice. Throughout the movie, I was engrossed with the two characters, their dialogue, and feel the way they do. It's so real. The awkwardness they feel when the first met after 9 years, how they start talking about themselves as friends, and slowly start digging into questions they had kept within themselves for years and in the end express their angst and feelings. You can see how the body language changes throughout the show, especially when they walk up the stairs to Celine's apartment. You can really see them knowing what might happen and yet.. the old love is so strong that you know if one of them turned back, they will probably regret. It's really very beautiful. I love the conversations. They talked about issues, environmental and poltical issues, about love, about life, about people. As they walk through Paris, you see the sights, mildly reflecting the culture there. It's about fate, how one event can change things so much, about having a second chance to sth that was lost. Should a person really follow his or her heart, or follow the paths that society has defined for them?


I wanna go Paris, i wanna watch the prelude of this show, I wanna find the song that she sang to him... the little Waltz.

Talent scouting

Did my second and last day of talent scouting today. Who would have thought I would take up a job like that. In fact, till now i'm not too sure what my pay is like, just that is $2.50 per name. But I do not regret taking it up, considering how you learn little pointers about approaching people, especially in a horrible place like Orchard. haha. But I think I have suffered enough rejections for a month. my heart can't take it anymore! heh
Btw, Older women are SOOO much more charming that the younger ones. When i mean older, i'm talking about above 29. THere is this matured attractiveness about them, and they do talk to you really graciously and give nice sincere smiles. Unlike those idiots that just give you an irritated face and think that they are the biggest things around. If I was a guy, I might just go for an older woman. *grins*

On a whole today was quite enjoyable, partly because there was no huge quota to satisfy, and the people working with were pretty fun to talk to even though they were all younger than me! *sigh* I'm old.... even my supervisor was younger than me!!! The sad thing is they all thought I was 17/18. *pout* But despite it being pleasant today, I'm glad that it's my last day.. really admire those who have the thick enough skin to do this for a month!

Ethics

I'm crazy.. dunno why i do all these weird stuff till so late.
Anyway, my Ethics grades are out. Everytime i see these emails that the Profs send out to inform us that our grades have been posted up, my heart starts thumping like crazy. Especially when i'm waiting to log in into vista, or waiting for "my results" to load. I cross my fingers, wishing for the best, at times closing my eyes cuz i don't feel ready to see the grades. It's crazy this semester, cause I know i'm pushing my luck a bit.
Thank god for once it's good news. A-. All thanks to Tania's and Hui Ling's notes... if not dunno how i could have survived the paper.

continuing to hope for the best.

I will never understand blogs

urgh.. I just changed the blog look cuz my last one somehow disappeared on me. And this is time consuming stuff. I thought that ripping from someone else would make things easier and faster... but somehow it just didn't work! like keep giving problems. So i decided to keep it nice simple and sweet. I don't really like the look of the girl on the right though. hmm.. it will be temporary. Right now sleep is more important. Especially since I barely had a proper one last night. Couldn't sleep till 7 plus in the morning... all becuase i had nearly 3 glasses of red wine and made my stomach quesy the whole night. crap.

been a while...

Wow. haven't blogged for so long. Many times i am tempted to start blogging but somehow didn't. During the exam period, it felt bad spending the time blogging when i should be studying, but it obviously didn't help my exam grades, considering that i went on to do other ridiculous stuff.

The exams have been over for a week already. and quite a number of stuff has happened that i honestly don't know how to blog. Cuz probably thinking through it in the first place hurts, and makes me feel sad, and i just didn't want to think about it. And even though good stuff do happens, it feels deceiving to myself to only blog one side of the story. Hence I chose to avoid it totally.

The thought of caderas latinas, elections, rummage, dance, just puts a sigh into my lips. I have never ever felt so stressed about it. sometimes it's being upset with everybody, sometimes it's being upset with myself because i don't know whether we all deserve this in the first place. Did we do anything wrong? I don't think so. many times during the past week, hearing these people talk, i can't help but feel agitated. because i feel wronged. because i think it's unfair to the whole exco, especially those who have put in so much from the beginning. Celeste is right that we do not have to defend ourselves because we know that we've done our best and good stuff did come from it. but sometimes it's difficult to control. my emotions are a high, fueled by the fact that my period is here. it bugs me even more when it affects the people around me. I am amazed how a person like me can lose sleep over this. haha. i'm famous for being a piggy!

i'm too tired to even club. amazing. every smile that night at dxo was a forced smile. but i stayed. out of habit? *shrugs* But earlier that day was sort of nice. though just the three of us at marina square was probably a reflection of how weird things felt with the club at that time, I enjoyed just being with you two gals. we really don't go out at all like that, except for club stuff. we should *hugs*

cramps. pain. gastric. giddyness. pukish. puffy eyes. insomia. stop soon. i wanna be a pretty and happy girl.

grades aren't helpin either. I got a C for CAT, my GPA has officially gone below 3.0. I am in trouble. and by the looks of what i got for MPW, not too good either. i'm messing up my life. i'm worried. i really don't want to see the rest of my grades.

happy stuff...
thank god there are still things that keep me happy. 2 years and 3 months. kinda seem going slow now. past the point of counting. I bought him the OP leather file, so happy to see him like it. hee.. me sneaking behind the door to see his reaction when he gets it, cuz i don't want him to pretend to like it if he had to open it in front of me. This summer, i'm getting the feeling that i'm trying to handle more males than i can handle again. but things are so different now. I dunno how to explain. I just wanna run back to him. and the best thing is I see the difference when he looks at me. Things have settled. And I am still relishing in it :)

I went to watch Burn the Floor TWICE. haha. good seats for both. paid $111 for one (which i still owe zhimin) and got a free ticket for another. It was brilliant, I have never felt so satisfied from a performance for a long long time. And I wish I can be that HOT. the bods. sigh...

My internship is finally settled. It will be with LEGO, only 9 weeks. haha.. so I can still enjoy my holidays unlike many others. Many would think it is a flippant job. I admit it probably is so, but as my friend says "typical me". I just hope there is more to it and not just retail. It might be surprising to some that I'm happy that it does include some retail stuff. I've always wanted to do sales for a while, warped as it seems. but never got the opportunity since my mother didn't approve of the working hours. I really hope it would help me. I love the office. Full of lego. colours. makes a person's day brighter. and the best is no fanciful office wear.
But i suppose the same thing still bothers me. I used to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? People apply for the challenging internships around and here i am choosing these internships. Simply put, i do not have the guts to do what the others do. I feel so damn inapt that I'm so afraid of putting myself in a spot during the internship. So i end up questioning where the hell am i gonna be in this business world. Am i heading down the wrong path? Have i been too lax on myself? I honestly don't even know where to go. Now i'm just convincing myself that i have to build my confidence first, and work step by step towards it. and grades is gonna be a huge factor (which leads back to one of my problems. sigh)

Anyways, I'm gonna end my extrememly long and sad entry with my goals/ stuff to do for the summer:
1) Improve my salsa. social social social
2) Turns Technique
3) Learn Hip Hop with Iris
4) Start playing tennis again
5) Learn to use and master my Canon 350D. snap snap snap!
6) Master Adobe Photoshop(and settle the membership card thingy)
7) Corporate Finance
8) remember to play the piano, don't want fingers to rot
9) Chinese? haha. will see about that
10) Read Read read non-fictional stuff. haha.

yup. not too stressful stuff.. mainly hobbies. after all, it's my holidays :P

praying hard

*sigh* B- for Ethics mid-term, looks like i really got lots of catching up to do...

my usual problem *sigh*

10 minutes of studying, 15 mins of story book reading, 30 min nap

15 mins of studying, 3 mins looking for food

10 mins of studying, 10 mins daydreaming

20 mins of studying, lunchtime

15 mins of studying, 1 half hour to finish story book

15 mins of studying, 20 mins stoning, 40 mins watching tv

*sigh* when will this ever stop.
concentrate damn it!

product of cecilia lim e ping aka cow

The project i hated the most, cuz i lacked so much control, but somehow, everything turned out okay in the end :)

Birthdays...

It has been birthday week. Went for 3 parties altogether - 2 macdonald ones and 1 at boat quay. dig the contrast. haha. Met ying during sophie's b'day, we did talk a little. but barely. everything just felt weird. wrong. hated the fact that when i was talking to the whole group, she looked disinterested. it hurts. but what can i do, but to wait. I left earlier, cuz i couldn't sit in the same table any longer.

On a lighter note, i went shopping for Sophie's prezzie before the party and bought this nice long necklace (to add on to the little stuff i bought already) which cost 22 bucks! *ouch* but i think it's really nice. Ended up buying a much cheaper one for myself too. bwhahaha. And i tried bargaining with the auntie, got a slight discount! haha.. the influence of my China trip. :)

Last night was Jusmin's b'day party - the one at boat quay. Pretty nice simple place, a good place to celebrate birthdays, cuz you really get to interact and yet also get high with your friends, unlike clubs. I learnt to play five-ten, and i kept winning! but that's becuz the other person was erm.. rather drunk. oh well. What matters most is that i won. hahaha! The birthday girl looked good in her white dress and kinky boots and I got my virgin bar top dancing experience with her! She works there part-time, so she kept asking me to go up with her. Didn't stay up for long, kinda a bit TOO much attention, considering that we were the first pple up there that night. haha. but gotta admit that it was fun. Got some other caucasian strangers to join us, so the place got ra-ra-ed for a while. The night ended off with supper with my boy and kelvin at jalan kayu, with kelvin telling us all those rubbish army stories. Really enjoyed myself.

There are stll good days around. Happy Birthday to all three babes. Jusmin, hope you get thru your last interview to be a SQ girl :)