2 dance lessons and my body is hurting. I can't remember the last time I was aching so badly becuase of DANCE. dots. All that reverse cartwheels gonna make me form muscles on my right arm. ouch.
Yesterday was busy busy. Moving from place to place... but all dance stuff. Started my day with amanda giving me a wake up call cause she was dragging me up for breakfast at cafe cartel at 8.30am! But i enjoyed myself babe. *hugs* Though my stomach felt odd after that. heh. We talked quite a bit ya? Kinda understand you better. :)
Den meeting at Jubilee, training, exco meeting, advance class, sneaking into faculty area in biz block to shower. Voila! it was 7 pm already
Met cute little big-eyed Iris at Coffee Club (the one outside California Fitness) and we talked and talked for 3 hours!!! About our relationships, and picking up hip hop. But this girl got an unfair advantage, she's been learning quite a bit already and really wanna excel in it. On my side, I barely even know what is it, not even sure whether I can pick it up! Sigh.. just hope it works out. We need a place to leaarrrrrnnn. hope we find one and a private instructor *chuckle*
The day ended off weirdly though. Shan't elaborate. Just trying to figure out what's wrong with me now. I want to get out of the house now, because I want to spend time alone? But I don't know what to do/ where to go. This sux.
feeling like a lost little puppy
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
Before Sunset
I just watched finished the movie Before Sunset... it's a really simple show but I think it's damn nice. Throughout the movie, I was engrossed with the two characters, their dialogue, and feel the way they do. It's so real. The awkwardness they feel when the first met after 9 years, how they start talking about themselves as friends, and slowly start digging into questions they had kept within themselves for years and in the end express their angst and feelings. You can see how the body language changes throughout the show, especially when they walk up the stairs to Celine's apartment. You can really see them knowing what might happen and yet.. the old love is so strong that you know if one of them turned back, they will probably regret. It's really very beautiful. I love the conversations. They talked about issues, environmental and poltical issues, about love, about life, about people. As they walk through Paris, you see the sights, mildly reflecting the culture there. It's about fate, how one event can change things so much, about having a second chance to sth that was lost. Should a person really follow his or her heart, or follow the paths that society has defined for them?
I wanna go Paris, i wanna watch the prelude of this show, I wanna find the song that she sang to him... the little Waltz.
I wanna go Paris, i wanna watch the prelude of this show, I wanna find the song that she sang to him... the little Waltz.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Talent scouting
Did my second and last day of talent scouting today. Who would have thought I would take up a job like that. In fact, till now i'm not too sure what my pay is like, just that is $2.50 per name. But I do not regret taking it up, considering how you learn little pointers about approaching people, especially in a horrible place like Orchard. haha. But I think I have suffered enough rejections for a month. my heart can't take it anymore! heh
Btw, Older women are SOOO much more charming that the younger ones. When i mean older, i'm talking about above 29. THere is this matured attractiveness about them, and they do talk to you really graciously and give nice sincere smiles. Unlike those idiots that just give you an irritated face and think that they are the biggest things around. If I was a guy, I might just go for an older woman. *grins*
On a whole today was quite enjoyable, partly because there was no huge quota to satisfy, and the people working with were pretty fun to talk to even though they were all younger than me! *sigh* I'm old.... even my supervisor was younger than me!!! The sad thing is they all thought I was 17/18. *pout* But despite it being pleasant today, I'm glad that it's my last day.. really admire those who have the thick enough skin to do this for a month!
Btw, Older women are SOOO much more charming that the younger ones. When i mean older, i'm talking about above 29. THere is this matured attractiveness about them, and they do talk to you really graciously and give nice sincere smiles. Unlike those idiots that just give you an irritated face and think that they are the biggest things around. If I was a guy, I might just go for an older woman. *grins*
On a whole today was quite enjoyable, partly because there was no huge quota to satisfy, and the people working with were pretty fun to talk to even though they were all younger than me! *sigh* I'm old.... even my supervisor was younger than me!!! The sad thing is they all thought I was 17/18. *pout* But despite it being pleasant today, I'm glad that it's my last day.. really admire those who have the thick enough skin to do this for a month!
Ethics
I'm crazy.. dunno why i do all these weird stuff till so late.
Anyway, my Ethics grades are out. Everytime i see these emails that the Profs send out to inform us that our grades have been posted up, my heart starts thumping like crazy. Especially when i'm waiting to log in into vista, or waiting for "my results" to load. I cross my fingers, wishing for the best, at times closing my eyes cuz i don't feel ready to see the grades. It's crazy this semester, cause I know i'm pushing my luck a bit.
Thank god for once it's good news. A-. All thanks to Tania's and Hui Ling's notes... if not dunno how i could have survived the paper.
continuing to hope for the best.
Anyway, my Ethics grades are out. Everytime i see these emails that the Profs send out to inform us that our grades have been posted up, my heart starts thumping like crazy. Especially when i'm waiting to log in into vista, or waiting for "my results" to load. I cross my fingers, wishing for the best, at times closing my eyes cuz i don't feel ready to see the grades. It's crazy this semester, cause I know i'm pushing my luck a bit.
Thank god for once it's good news. A-. All thanks to Tania's and Hui Ling's notes... if not dunno how i could have survived the paper.
continuing to hope for the best.
I will never understand blogs
urgh.. I just changed the blog look cuz my last one somehow disappeared on me. And this is time consuming stuff. I thought that ripping from someone else would make things easier and faster... but somehow it just didn't work! like keep giving problems. So i decided to keep it nice simple and sweet. I don't really like the look of the girl on the right though. hmm.. it will be temporary. Right now sleep is more important. Especially since I barely had a proper one last night. Couldn't sleep till 7 plus in the morning... all becuase i had nearly 3 glasses of red wine and made my stomach quesy the whole night. crap.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
been a while...
Wow. haven't blogged for so long. Many times i am tempted to start blogging but somehow didn't. During the exam period, it felt bad spending the time blogging when i should be studying, but it obviously didn't help my exam grades, considering that i went on to do other ridiculous stuff.
The exams have been over for a week already. and quite a number of stuff has happened that i honestly don't know how to blog. Cuz probably thinking through it in the first place hurts, and makes me feel sad, and i just didn't want to think about it. And even though good stuff do happens, it feels deceiving to myself to only blog one side of the story. Hence I chose to avoid it totally.
The thought of caderas latinas, elections, rummage, dance, just puts a sigh into my lips. I have never ever felt so stressed about it. sometimes it's being upset with everybody, sometimes it's being upset with myself because i don't know whether we all deserve this in the first place. Did we do anything wrong? I don't think so. many times during the past week, hearing these people talk, i can't help but feel agitated. because i feel wronged. because i think it's unfair to the whole exco, especially those who have put in so much from the beginning. Celeste is right that we do not have to defend ourselves because we know that we've done our best and good stuff did come from it. but sometimes it's difficult to control. my emotions are a high, fueled by the fact that my period is here. it bugs me even more when it affects the people around me. I am amazed how a person like me can lose sleep over this. haha. i'm famous for being a piggy!
i'm too tired to even club. amazing. every smile that night at dxo was a forced smile. but i stayed. out of habit? *shrugs* But earlier that day was sort of nice. though just the three of us at marina square was probably a reflection of how weird things felt with the club at that time, I enjoyed just being with you two gals. we really don't go out at all like that, except for club stuff. we should *hugs*
cramps. pain. gastric. giddyness. pukish. puffy eyes. insomia. stop soon. i wanna be a pretty and happy girl.
grades aren't helpin either. I got a C for CAT, my GPA has officially gone below 3.0. I am in trouble. and by the looks of what i got for MPW, not too good either. i'm messing up my life. i'm worried. i really don't want to see the rest of my grades.
happy stuff...
thank god there are still things that keep me happy. 2 years and 3 months. kinda seem going slow now. past the point of counting. I bought him the OP leather file, so happy to see him like it. hee.. me sneaking behind the door to see his reaction when he gets it, cuz i don't want him to pretend to like it if he had to open it in front of me. This summer, i'm getting the feeling that i'm trying to handle more males than i can handle again. but things are so different now. I dunno how to explain. I just wanna run back to him. and the best thing is I see the difference when he looks at me. Things have settled. And I am still relishing in it :)
I went to watch Burn the Floor TWICE. haha. good seats for both. paid $111 for one (which i still owe zhimin) and got a free ticket for another. It was brilliant, I have never felt so satisfied from a performance for a long long time. And I wish I can be that HOT. the bods. sigh...
My internship is finally settled. It will be with LEGO, only 9 weeks. haha.. so I can still enjoy my holidays unlike many others. Many would think it is a flippant job. I admit it probably is so, but as my friend says "typical me". I just hope there is more to it and not just retail. It might be surprising to some that I'm happy that it does include some retail stuff. I've always wanted to do sales for a while, warped as it seems. but never got the opportunity since my mother didn't approve of the working hours. I really hope it would help me. I love the office. Full of lego. colours. makes a person's day brighter. and the best is no fanciful office wear.
But i suppose the same thing still bothers me. I used to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? People apply for the challenging internships around and here i am choosing these internships. Simply put, i do not have the guts to do what the others do. I feel so damn inapt that I'm so afraid of putting myself in a spot during the internship. So i end up questioning where the hell am i gonna be in this business world. Am i heading down the wrong path? Have i been too lax on myself? I honestly don't even know where to go. Now i'm just convincing myself that i have to build my confidence first, and work step by step towards it. and grades is gonna be a huge factor (which leads back to one of my problems. sigh)
Anyways, I'm gonna end my extrememly long and sad entry with my goals/ stuff to do for the summer:
1) Improve my salsa. social social social
2) Turns Technique
3) Learn Hip Hop with Iris
4) Start playing tennis again
5) Learn to use and master my Canon 350D. snap snap snap!
6) Master Adobe Photoshop(and settle the membership card thingy)
7) Corporate Finance
8) remember to play the piano, don't want fingers to rot
9) Chinese? haha. will see about that
10) Read Read read non-fictional stuff. haha.
yup. not too stressful stuff.. mainly hobbies. after all, it's my holidays :P
The exams have been over for a week already. and quite a number of stuff has happened that i honestly don't know how to blog. Cuz probably thinking through it in the first place hurts, and makes me feel sad, and i just didn't want to think about it. And even though good stuff do happens, it feels deceiving to myself to only blog one side of the story. Hence I chose to avoid it totally.
The thought of caderas latinas, elections, rummage, dance, just puts a sigh into my lips. I have never ever felt so stressed about it. sometimes it's being upset with everybody, sometimes it's being upset with myself because i don't know whether we all deserve this in the first place. Did we do anything wrong? I don't think so. many times during the past week, hearing these people talk, i can't help but feel agitated. because i feel wronged. because i think it's unfair to the whole exco, especially those who have put in so much from the beginning. Celeste is right that we do not have to defend ourselves because we know that we've done our best and good stuff did come from it. but sometimes it's difficult to control. my emotions are a high, fueled by the fact that my period is here. it bugs me even more when it affects the people around me. I am amazed how a person like me can lose sleep over this. haha. i'm famous for being a piggy!
i'm too tired to even club. amazing. every smile that night at dxo was a forced smile. but i stayed. out of habit? *shrugs* But earlier that day was sort of nice. though just the three of us at marina square was probably a reflection of how weird things felt with the club at that time, I enjoyed just being with you two gals. we really don't go out at all like that, except for club stuff. we should *hugs*
cramps. pain. gastric. giddyness. pukish. puffy eyes. insomia. stop soon. i wanna be a pretty and happy girl.
grades aren't helpin either. I got a C for CAT, my GPA has officially gone below 3.0. I am in trouble. and by the looks of what i got for MPW, not too good either. i'm messing up my life. i'm worried. i really don't want to see the rest of my grades.
happy stuff...
thank god there are still things that keep me happy. 2 years and 3 months. kinda seem going slow now. past the point of counting. I bought him the OP leather file, so happy to see him like it. hee.. me sneaking behind the door to see his reaction when he gets it, cuz i don't want him to pretend to like it if he had to open it in front of me. This summer, i'm getting the feeling that i'm trying to handle more males than i can handle again. but things are so different now. I dunno how to explain. I just wanna run back to him. and the best thing is I see the difference when he looks at me. Things have settled. And I am still relishing in it :)
I went to watch Burn the Floor TWICE. haha. good seats for both. paid $111 for one (which i still owe zhimin) and got a free ticket for another. It was brilliant, I have never felt so satisfied from a performance for a long long time. And I wish I can be that HOT. the bods. sigh...
My internship is finally settled. It will be with LEGO, only 9 weeks. haha.. so I can still enjoy my holidays unlike many others. Many would think it is a flippant job. I admit it probably is so, but as my friend says "typical me". I just hope there is more to it and not just retail. It might be surprising to some that I'm happy that it does include some retail stuff. I've always wanted to do sales for a while, warped as it seems. but never got the opportunity since my mother didn't approve of the working hours. I really hope it would help me. I love the office. Full of lego. colours. makes a person's day brighter. and the best is no fanciful office wear.
But i suppose the same thing still bothers me. I used to ask myself, is there something wrong with me? People apply for the challenging internships around and here i am choosing these internships. Simply put, i do not have the guts to do what the others do. I feel so damn inapt that I'm so afraid of putting myself in a spot during the internship. So i end up questioning where the hell am i gonna be in this business world. Am i heading down the wrong path? Have i been too lax on myself? I honestly don't even know where to go. Now i'm just convincing myself that i have to build my confidence first, and work step by step towards it. and grades is gonna be a huge factor (which leads back to one of my problems. sigh)
Anyways, I'm gonna end my extrememly long and sad entry with my goals/ stuff to do for the summer:
1) Improve my salsa. social social social
2) Turns Technique
3) Learn Hip Hop with Iris
4) Start playing tennis again
5) Learn to use and master my Canon 350D. snap snap snap!
6) Master Adobe Photoshop(and settle the membership card thingy)
7) Corporate Finance
8) remember to play the piano, don't want fingers to rot
9) Chinese? haha. will see about that
10) Read Read read non-fictional stuff. haha.
yup. not too stressful stuff.. mainly hobbies. after all, it's my holidays :P
Friday, April 07, 2006
Thursday, April 06, 2006
my usual problem *sigh*
10 minutes of studying, 15 mins of story book reading, 30 min nap
15 mins of studying, 3 mins looking for food
10 mins of studying, 10 mins daydreaming
20 mins of studying, lunchtime
15 mins of studying, 1 half hour to finish story book
15 mins of studying, 20 mins stoning, 40 mins watching tv
*sigh* when will this ever stop.
concentrate damn it!
15 mins of studying, 3 mins looking for food
10 mins of studying, 10 mins daydreaming
20 mins of studying, lunchtime
15 mins of studying, 1 half hour to finish story book
15 mins of studying, 20 mins stoning, 40 mins watching tv
*sigh* when will this ever stop.
concentrate damn it!
Monday, April 03, 2006
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Birthdays...
It has been birthday week. Went for 3 parties altogether - 2 macdonald ones and 1 at boat quay. dig the contrast. haha. Met ying during sophie's b'day, we did talk a little. but barely. everything just felt weird. wrong. hated the fact that when i was talking to the whole group, she looked disinterested. it hurts. but what can i do, but to wait. I left earlier, cuz i couldn't sit in the same table any longer.
On a lighter note, i went shopping for Sophie's prezzie before the party and bought this nice long necklace (to add on to the little stuff i bought already) which cost 22 bucks! *ouch* but i think it's really nice. Ended up buying a much cheaper one for myself too. bwhahaha. And i tried bargaining with the auntie, got a slight discount! haha.. the influence of my China trip. :)
Last night was Jusmin's b'day party - the one at boat quay. Pretty nice simple place, a good place to celebrate birthdays, cuz you really get to interact and yet also get high with your friends, unlike clubs. I learnt to play five-ten, and i kept winning! but that's becuz the other person was erm.. rather drunk. oh well. What matters most is that i won. hahaha! The birthday girl looked good in her white dress and kinky boots and I got my virgin bar top dancing experience with her! She works there part-time, so she kept asking me to go up with her. Didn't stay up for long, kinda a bit TOO much attention, considering that we were the first pple up there that night. haha. but gotta admit that it was fun. Got some other caucasian strangers to join us, so the place got ra-ra-ed for a while. The night ended off with supper with my boy and kelvin at jalan kayu, with kelvin telling us all those rubbish army stories. Really enjoyed myself.
There are stll good days around. Happy Birthday to all three babes. Jusmin, hope you get thru your last interview to be a SQ girl :)
On a lighter note, i went shopping for Sophie's prezzie before the party and bought this nice long necklace (to add on to the little stuff i bought already) which cost 22 bucks! *ouch* but i think it's really nice. Ended up buying a much cheaper one for myself too. bwhahaha. And i tried bargaining with the auntie, got a slight discount! haha.. the influence of my China trip. :)
Last night was Jusmin's b'day party - the one at boat quay. Pretty nice simple place, a good place to celebrate birthdays, cuz you really get to interact and yet also get high with your friends, unlike clubs. I learnt to play five-ten, and i kept winning! but that's becuz the other person was erm.. rather drunk. oh well. What matters most is that i won. hahaha! The birthday girl looked good in her white dress and kinky boots and I got my virgin bar top dancing experience with her! She works there part-time, so she kept asking me to go up with her. Didn't stay up for long, kinda a bit TOO much attention, considering that we were the first pple up there that night. haha. but gotta admit that it was fun. Got some other caucasian strangers to join us, so the place got ra-ra-ed for a while. The night ended off with supper with my boy and kelvin at jalan kayu, with kelvin telling us all those rubbish army stories. Really enjoyed myself.
There are stll good days around. Happy Birthday to all three babes. Jusmin, hope you get thru your last interview to be a SQ girl :)
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